Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

When I was a Junior in high school, I was part of a drama team for Kansas City Youth for Christ. It was a pretty big deal, or so I thought. I loved getting on stage and performing in front of hundreds of my peers. But about half way through the year, I had an epiphany. And I just couldn't bring myself to go to drama team practice. So when the director called me and asked what was going on, my teenage self launched into how I just wasn't feeling it. I thought for sure that was a reasonable explanation for not coming to practice. But it wasn't. And I will never forget what the director told me. She said sometimes in life, we have to do things whether we feel like doing it or not. My dad is a pastor, and she gave the analogy that sometimes my dad probably doesn't feel like getting up and preaching every week, but he still does it. Whether he feels like it or not. Did I get that little nugget of wisdom? Nope. I was too blinded by the injustice. But her words stuck with me.

The past couple of months I've felt "blah":. There's really no other way of describing it. I just don't feel like doing anything. I still take care of the kids, clean the house, cook dinner and go to the gym- all of the stay at home mom duties, but beyond that, I really don't do much. I have a closet full of cute clothes that a few months ago didn't fit me. I've worked hard to get back in shape, but I still feel like wearing work out clothes and doing nothing to my hair and, of course, wearing no make up. I kind of just sunk into a hole where I just wasn't feeling it. But the more days that went by of me being "blah" the more I felt blah and even depressed. That little nugget of wisdom 17 year old Sandra didn't get crept back in. I started to think that maybe just because I didn't feel like fixing my hair and putting on makeup and actually wearing some of the cute clothes that fit me wasn't a good reason not to. Maybe what I had to do was move past whatever epiphany or feeling I have and really live life.

So this weekend I did that. I busted out one of my cute outfits and put on makeup. My sweet friend Jan curled my super long hair for me. I really think she should go into business doing hair (: Friday night I met up with my best friend, Devyn, for dinner. I rarely go to "the city", so it was lots of fun.

Boombah and Shakah

Saturday we went to the Fall Fun Fest in Blue Springs. I grew up going to this, so it was fun to go there as a family.

Doesn't Zeke looked thrilled to be there? (:

Sunday we went to church and Malachi went to a birthday party. I actually curled my hair and put on a dress (: And we went shopping while Malachi was at the party, so I got a couple of new things. Shopping for clothes is something that I rarely do, so it was a fun treat!

This weekend was a nice wake up call for me. I don't always feel like fixing myself up, actually I pretty much never feel like it. But sometimes, I suppose doing something you don't feel like doing is good. I'm worn out from a weekend of actually being presentable, but I have to admit, I feel like me again. I fully intend on wearing yoga pants and no makeup tomorrow. But I'm going to make an effort to invest in myself more often.  Whether I "feel" like it or not, I'm going to get out of my "blah" state of mind and live my life to the fullest.