Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

When I was a Junior in high school, I was part of a drama team for Kansas City Youth for Christ. It was a pretty big deal, or so I thought. I loved getting on stage and performing in front of hundreds of my peers. But about half way through the year, I had an epiphany. And I just couldn't bring myself to go to drama team practice. So when the director called me and asked what was going on, my teenage self launched into how I just wasn't feeling it. I thought for sure that was a reasonable explanation for not coming to practice. But it wasn't. And I will never forget what the director told me. She said sometimes in life, we have to do things whether we feel like doing it or not. My dad is a pastor, and she gave the analogy that sometimes my dad probably doesn't feel like getting up and preaching every week, but he still does it. Whether he feels like it or not. Did I get that little nugget of wisdom? Nope. I was too blinded by the injustice. But her words stuck with me.

The past couple of months I've felt "blah":. There's really no other way of describing it. I just don't feel like doing anything. I still take care of the kids, clean the house, cook dinner and go to the gym- all of the stay at home mom duties, but beyond that, I really don't do much. I have a closet full of cute clothes that a few months ago didn't fit me. I've worked hard to get back in shape, but I still feel like wearing work out clothes and doing nothing to my hair and, of course, wearing no make up. I kind of just sunk into a hole where I just wasn't feeling it. But the more days that went by of me being "blah" the more I felt blah and even depressed. That little nugget of wisdom 17 year old Sandra didn't get crept back in. I started to think that maybe just because I didn't feel like fixing my hair and putting on makeup and actually wearing some of the cute clothes that fit me wasn't a good reason not to. Maybe what I had to do was move past whatever epiphany or feeling I have and really live life.

So this weekend I did that. I busted out one of my cute outfits and put on makeup. My sweet friend Jan curled my super long hair for me. I really think she should go into business doing hair (: Friday night I met up with my best friend, Devyn, for dinner. I rarely go to "the city", so it was lots of fun.

Boombah and Shakah

Saturday we went to the Fall Fun Fest in Blue Springs. I grew up going to this, so it was fun to go there as a family.

Doesn't Zeke looked thrilled to be there? (:

Sunday we went to church and Malachi went to a birthday party. I actually curled my hair and put on a dress (: And we went shopping while Malachi was at the party, so I got a couple of new things. Shopping for clothes is something that I rarely do, so it was a fun treat!

This weekend was a nice wake up call for me. I don't always feel like fixing myself up, actually I pretty much never feel like it. But sometimes, I suppose doing something you don't feel like doing is good. I'm worn out from a weekend of actually being presentable, but I have to admit, I feel like me again. I fully intend on wearing yoga pants and no makeup tomorrow. But I'm going to make an effort to invest in myself more often.  Whether I "feel" like it or not, I'm going to get out of my "blah" state of mind and live my life to the fullest.

The Problem With Poop

I can remember when I was pregnant with Malachi and I found out I was having a boy. I was so scared. A girl would have been easy. I was good at being girly. But a boy? All I could think of was that my little boy would never be dirty or stinky or ridiculously silly. And then he was born and I fell in love. I was in love with a dirty, stinky little boy. But I still wanted him to be proper, I suppose? I've always taught Malachi and my other kids not to say words like "stupid" or "shut up". I've scrubbed grimy hands and I've made sure they know how important the words "please" and "thank you" are.

I've gotten so used to saying, "we don't say that word." But tonight, when Malachi was quietly doing his homework, he came into the kitchen where I was cleaning up after dinner. He told me he finished his homework and walked towards the laundry room to put it in his backpack. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of something written on both of his feet. "Wait, Malachi," I said. And when I saw what was written, 16 year old Sandra came into my mind. He had written "Poop" on the tops of both of his feet. Normally I would tell the kids not to say that, but I was struck that my stinky little boy is now a stinky *almost* preteen. And I remembered a time when writing "poop" on things was not just funny, but insanely hilarious. A time when my parents would ask me a question and the only answer that seemed fitting was a drawn out, "POOOOOOOOP". How could I tell my son not to write the word "poop" on himself when I once thought that was the pinnacle of all things clever and hilarious?

So I let it slide. I couldn't help but crack a smile when I saw what he had done to his stinky feet. And in that moment, we shared a weird bond. I'm still going to teach my kids to choose words that are positive. But "poop" is evidently one word that will always be funny. And what would the world be without a little poop?

Being Healthy is Hard

I always seem to go on health food kicks and then slip back into our old routine. There's so much information out there these days on what is and isn't healthy. No carbs, no sugar, no grain, raw, organic. I always pick something and jump in with both feet.

I've been on a mission to correct my health problems since I was a teenager. I've always been sickly. As a child, I was in and out of the hospital with pneumonia. I always had bronchitis or strep throat. At an early age I was diagnosed with asthma (and of course allergies because they seem to go hand in hand). By the age of 10, I was so sick and a mass in my chest was discovered. Fearing that I had cancer, the doctors removed part of my thymus only to have it biopsied and find out that it was benign. After that, my thymus shrunk, but I still had health problems. At the age of 12, I was diagnosed with Juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. My list of daily medication increased and I started going to physical therapy three times a week. But I didn't really feel better. A year after that diagnosis, the doctors realized they were wrong and I didn't have JRA. So they gave me a new diagnosis- fibromyalgia. Even at a young age, I knew that fibromyalgia was thought of as a joke. A box you're placed in if there's no other explanation for being in pain. A box that is often labeled with "it's all in your head." After a couple of years of being on medication for asthma, allergies and fibromyalgia, I decided I had enough. I was sick of taking medicine and being bloated and pale and still not feeling well. I started to exercise daily and I change my diet. I began to feel better, but then I found out I have a multinodular goiter. And along with it I have hypothyrodism. I don't like to talk about my health issues, because I don't like to think of myself as not being well. I still have a hard time saying I have fibromyalgia because it's still such an unknown condition. But that doesn't change the fact that I have flare ups sometimes. In the past month or so, I just haven't felt well. My asthma is so bad, I have to use my rescue inhaler several times a day. I've been breaking out in hives. My hips and lower back hurt so bad, it's hard to even walk sometimes. And my lovely goiter has swollen to the point where sometimes I feel like I'm being choked.

So back to all of the health information out there. I've done a lot of research and I'm sure that I would benefit from a gluten free, sugar free diet. I've read how gluten is linked to so many diseases, especially thyroid problems. I've actually tried going gluten free a few times, but without knowing for sure that it would help me, it's difficult to make a life change like that.

Instead of jumping in with both feet, I've decided to start with a few things to improve my health-

1) Apple cider vinegar. Whenever I skip on the ACV, I can really tell a difference. I'll admit, I haven't been taking it as often as I should, so I'm going to start taking two tablespoons in hot water twice a day. I've always had good results from ACV.

2) Chicken stock. I'm reading so many health benefits from stock. It's so cheap to get an organic, free range chicken, roast it and have dinner for the family one night and stock by the next day. It's quick and easy and my whole family can enjoy the nourishment.

3) Oregano oil.  A friend of mine told me that oregano oil is great for sore throats. I looked it up and was surprised to see that it also treats asthma. I'm willing to try anything to get my asthma under control. Inhalers are expensive and I  hate having to use it so much.

4) Raw milk. Another thing my friend said was great for your health. She actually brought some over and it was delicious. It takes a little planning to make sure you're purchasing it every week, but I really believe that the health benefits will be worth it.

I would love to hear if anyone has any suggestions on naturally improving health conditions!