Where Are You Christmas?

When I was little, I absolutely loved Christmas. I loved all of the lights, the presents topped with bows, indulging my sweet tooth with cookies and candy. I would spend weeks writing my Christmas list. Making sure I didn't forget a dress or a doll I desperately needed. Christmas Eve was my favorite. My brother, Paul, and I would stay up as late as we could and talk about what we thought (or knew sometimes) we were getting. Bright and early we would rise and race downstairs to a pile of presents.

But one year, everything changed. I was 16 and my family and I had enjoyed a great Christmas together. The next day, I went to the mall with my best friend. The common theme of conversation amongst all of our friends was, "what did you get for Christmas?" I realized that I really didn't know how to answer that question. Sure, I could just say I got the clothes and boots I had wanted, but it felt weird talking about what I got. It didn't feel right. It felt icky. And that same icky feeling followed me through every other Christmas. Suddenly it felt strange making a Christmas list. I felt awkward getting what I wanted. And I continued to dread that question- "what did you get for Christmas?" I wanted to go back to the lights and bows and candy canes.

I got my love for Christmas back after I had kids. It seemed like the more kids I had, the more I loved Christmas. Because I got to see the joy that I had lost through the eyes of my children. Lights seemed brighter, cookies tasted sweeter, and the thrill of seeing them open a new doll or legos on Christmas morning was a welcome friend.

I've been playing Christmas music for the past 2 months. Our Christmas tree is up, presents are wrapped and under the tree. But that icky feeling is creeping in. I've been feeling this pressure to get my kids an enormous amount of presents. Whatever they want, I want to give it to them. We're no different than most people these days, and money is tight. Realistically, I can only get them one special present a piece (along with the things they always get like books and new shoes.) So I started to think about what my favorite present was when I was their age. And it hit me- the expensive doll I just had to have has long since been donated to good will. The clothes, the shoes have been sold at garage sales years ago. It really didn't matter what I got for Christmas. The joy I found in Christmas, the sheer bliss of lights and snow and hot chocolate, was all wrapped up in the memories. I can't remember what my Christmas presents were every year, but what I do remember is sitting on the living room floor with my mom singing Christmas carols. I remember decorating gingerbread houses and acting out the story of baby Jesus with our friends, the Morgans. That's why I loved Christmas. I've underestimated the simplicity of Christmas and replaced it with the ickiness of presents and things. So this Christmas I'm focusing on the things that don't get thrown away or lost or donated. I'm focusing on the birth of Christ, making gingerbread houses with my kids, warming my toes by a crackling fire. Those precious memories are something no amount of money can buy. And that's when Christmas comes and shines bright- replacing the wants and needs with Joy.

Pumpkin Party

The Pumpkin Party was actually the start of our traditional parties. I remember after I had Zeke (five years ago!), I got really domestic. I guess having four kids made my homemaker skills kick into gear. My ability to cook finally coincided with my love to cook. I found out that It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown was going to be on tv, so I decided to have a little pumpkin party for the kids before we watched it.

That first year, I made lobster chowder and pumpkin cookies. I got tiny, little pumpkins and the three older kids colored them with markers and glued an enormous amount of googly eyes on them. Nate made homemade popcorn and I laid a sheet on our hardwood floor. We all snuggled together and ate popcorn and watched our very first pumpkin party Charlie Brown show.

It's funny how when you start a tradition, if you stop and think about it, the details of the very first time are strikingly vivid. My young family, creating memories on a crisp Autumn day in our little house in Ohio. I'm sure some Pumpkin Parties will be more memorable than others, but each one has always been so much fun. This is one tradition I hope passes down in the Watson family.

Even Daddy painted a pumpkin!

Gabs and Ivan Thomas.

Of course the wild Z man took his shirt off!

Concentrating...

Gabs making her pumpkin "FiFi".

Who knew painting pumpkins could be so funny?! (:

They indulged me by taking this picture. I was channeling my inner Linda Morgan!!!

This has to be one of my favorite pictures ever. Look at Aylah's face!!!

This is the best beef stew ever. Let me know if you want the recipe. It will seriously change your life!

Finally time for Charlie Brown. It's so weird to see five kids sitting there, when our first Pumpkin Party was only four little babies.

Traditions

 It's always interesting to me when a new tradition is created. I'm a big fan of traditions. I love telling the kids, "in a few weeks we'll be doing this tradition." They get so excited, and of course, memories are made every time.

Last year I started a new tradition- our Halloween Party. I'm actually not a huge fan of Halloween. I know, crazy, right? But it kind of stresses me out having the kids walk around in the street in the dark (we don't have sidewalks) and then the candy aftermath- yeah, the candy alone makes me not like Halloween. But last year I decided to make some spooky food to eat before trick or treating. And thus the Halloween Party tradition began.

This year was especially fun because I was able to find all kinds of fun ideas on Pinterest and I've gotten pretty good at time management. I did wait until the day of Halloween to make my menu and go shopping (procrastination dies hard), but I was able to get everything completely and totally done in time for everyone to enjoy themselves and have time to get their costumes on.

Usually we have a traditional Pumpkin Party before the Halloween Party, but since It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown came on tv the night of Halloween, we'll be doing the Pumpkin Party tonight. I always feel like those parties are the kick off to the fun traditions we have this busy time of year! (:

I love, love, love cooking food for parties. An afternoon in the kitchen is my idea of a good time.

Gabs isn't so sure about the "gholuish punch."

Mummy pizza.

Mummy cookie pops. These were a huge hit and so easy to make!

Gabs looking at the yummy veggies!

They decided to call the punch "monster blood" instead.

Z man!

Goofy Malachi.

Tasty!

All fueled up and ready to trick or treat!

Even Micah likes the Mummy Pizza!!!

Do You Remember When You Were 17?

A few weeks ago, my dad stopped by to give me an old newspaper that featured me and my best friend, Devyn, on the cover. One of the perks of coming from a family of pack rats is that wonderfully embarrassing things from my past always have a way of resurfacing. As my dad handed me that crumpled, faded paper, I started to laugh. I remember how cool I thought it was to be in our local paper. My brother's band, Empire, was playing at a coffee house and Devyn and I always made sure to be in the front row of all their shows. But had that really been 14 years ago? The image I was looking at was of two obnoxious silly teenage girls dancing at a coffee house (I swear I wasn't doing the chicken dance (: ). But it kind of felt like it was just yesterday. Time has a funny way of allowing life to slip right past you.

It got me thinking about how strange it is that in 3 years I will have a teenager. How quickly the past few years have gone by. In a flash, I have gone from a 17 year old girl to a 31 year old woman. Every day occurrences go by and I forget. I forget how good it feels to dance to music, or to breathe in the sweet scent of my children after they've taken a bath, or how much fun it is to feel leaves crunching under my feet. This weekend I made a conscious effort to mark everything that happened in my mind. We enjoyed my most favorite kind of weekend- the kind where we stay home and do things around the house. On Sunday, we took the kids to the lake and we had a picnic and they played at the park. On the drive home, we went up and down the wondrous hills we have here in Missouri. I sat and listened to five kids laughing and squealing as their daddy zipped up and down the hills. And I thought, this is my memory. When I am old and gray and my children have grown, I will look back on this simple moment and smile. I won't always have a newspaper clipping to remind me to remember the simple things in life. But I'll remember. Oh, how I will remember.

"Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." -Robert Brault 

I love Fall. I love when the weather gets cooler and the trees start changing colors. I love getting back into the school time routine and all of the fun activities that happen around this time of year. But I get kind of weird when it's Fall. I start preparing for Winter. I'm like an animal working diligently to store up for the cold days that are quickly approaching. Except I'm not gathering acorns. I'm cleaning out the garage so we can fit at least one vehicle in there. I'm packing up shorts and t-shirts and replacing them with jeans and sweaters.

My latest preparation for Winter was making an office in our bedroom. Last year for Father's Day, I made a little office for Nate in the laundry room. It was a fabulous idea and it looked great, but it just wasn't practical. In the Summer, it was too hot and in the Winter, it was too cold. So he couldn't use his nice little office. A few weeks ago, we moved the older kids down to our finished basement. And Ivan got their old room. There was a space in our room where his crib used to be that was just perfect for Nate's desk. So the unpractical laundry room office became a cozy bedroom office.

This space is perfect for Malachi to do his homework. I've been struggling with trying to find a way to get Malachi to be motivated to do his homework without me telling him every day to get his work done. I'm actually going to incorporate the dry erase board we used over the Summer to schedule in homework for the kids. For someone who is as unorganized as I am, it's critical for me to schedule things and have it visual so the kids and I both know what to expect for the day.

 This space is also great for Nate to work on brewery stuff. I love how cozy this little desk is in our room. I have lots of other things to do to get ready for the cold weather, but I couldn't be happier with the way the bedroom office turned out. When you have 7 people in a 2 bedroom house, it's always a huge success when you can find a way to utilize space in a cute, functional way! (:

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Mommy Stripes

As a mom, there are certain moments when I feel like I really earn my "mommy stripes". This past week was pretty hard for the Watson family. I got sick over a week ago. I can honestly say that I haven't been that ill for years and years. I was deliriously sick. My throat was on fire and my glands were so swollen I could hardly swallow. Thankfully I got sick on a Saturday, so Nate was home to take care of the kids. But by Monday (which was ironically a day off school for the kids), I still felt awful. I called my mom and took the kids over to her house. Even as an adult, I still need my mom when I'm sick (:  I hate going to the doctor and I was hopeful that I would get better on my own, but my mom made me go to the doctor. And it turned out, I had a double ear infection and strep throat. I think I've had the ear infections for a while, because after a week of antibiotics, I feel better than I have in weeks.

It's little surprise that the day after I found out I had strep throat, Aylah came home from school complaining of her throat hurting. So the next day I took her to the doctor. Sure enough, she had strep too. Two days later, I took Ivan to the doctor and he had strep too. While I was there, I had the doctor look at Aylah's neck. The right side of her neck was insanely swollen. The doctor examined her and said she was concerned that she had an abscess. Now, what the doctor probably said was that I should take her to the hospital to get it looked at. But, in my frantic mommy state, what I heard was that my child was critically ill and had to go to the hospital immediately. So I hurried home to give Ivan his first dose of medicine. Aylah had fallen asleep in the car and I rushed Ivan inside. Before I could give him the medicine, he said, "Mommy, I have to go pee." When a two year old says that, you know there's no waiting. I quickly took him to the bathroom and after he was done, he got that look in his eyes. I'm sure every parent knows that look. The "I'm going to puke and there's no time to get me to the toilet" look. And he puked everywhere. In that moment, I knew I would be earning some serious mommy stripes that day.

After I had cleaned him up, changed his clothes and given him his medicine, I got him back in the van and headed to the hospital. It's about 25 minutes from our house, but I have serious anxiety about driving on the highway. I've never been a fan of driving, but the older I get, the more I freak out about it. The whole time I was praying, "Please let Aylah be ok, please keep me calm, please help our van not to breakdown." And thank you, Jesus, we made it. But I was so frazzled that I went into the first hospital parking garage I saw. Which was on the opposite end of the ER. Two sick kids, one mommy and an enormous distance to where we were supposed to be. I put Ivan in the stroller, but poor Aylah was in so much pain she could barely walk. She ended up getting a ride in a wheelchair and we made it to the ER. After several hours of being there, the doctors told me that she had a severe case of strep throat which was causing her glands to swell so much. And it also made her have a muscle spasm, so she couldn't move her neck.

It took almost a week of being on the antibiotic for Aylah to really feel better, but she's better now. I realized how lucky I am that my kids have never really been sick before. Good health is something that I often take for granted, but there is no better gift than having healthy children. I thank God every day that I have five healthy kids.

I earned some mommy stripes this past week for sure. They've caused me to worry, experience anxiety and exhaustion. But most importantly, they've allowed me to understand how scary it is to have a sick child, and how precious it is knowing your child is ok. I will wear these Mommy stripes with pride.

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

When I was a Junior in high school, I was part of a drama team for Kansas City Youth for Christ. It was a pretty big deal, or so I thought. I loved getting on stage and performing in front of hundreds of my peers. But about half way through the year, I had an epiphany. And I just couldn't bring myself to go to drama team practice. So when the director called me and asked what was going on, my teenage self launched into how I just wasn't feeling it. I thought for sure that was a reasonable explanation for not coming to practice. But it wasn't. And I will never forget what the director told me. She said sometimes in life, we have to do things whether we feel like doing it or not. My dad is a pastor, and she gave the analogy that sometimes my dad probably doesn't feel like getting up and preaching every week, but he still does it. Whether he feels like it or not. Did I get that little nugget of wisdom? Nope. I was too blinded by the injustice. But her words stuck with me.

The past couple of months I've felt "blah":. There's really no other way of describing it. I just don't feel like doing anything. I still take care of the kids, clean the house, cook dinner and go to the gym- all of the stay at home mom duties, but beyond that, I really don't do much. I have a closet full of cute clothes that a few months ago didn't fit me. I've worked hard to get back in shape, but I still feel like wearing work out clothes and doing nothing to my hair and, of course, wearing no make up. I kind of just sunk into a hole where I just wasn't feeling it. But the more days that went by of me being "blah" the more I felt blah and even depressed. That little nugget of wisdom 17 year old Sandra didn't get crept back in. I started to think that maybe just because I didn't feel like fixing my hair and putting on makeup and actually wearing some of the cute clothes that fit me wasn't a good reason not to. Maybe what I had to do was move past whatever epiphany or feeling I have and really live life.

So this weekend I did that. I busted out one of my cute outfits and put on makeup. My sweet friend Jan curled my super long hair for me. I really think she should go into business doing hair (: Friday night I met up with my best friend, Devyn, for dinner. I rarely go to "the city", so it was lots of fun.

Boombah and Shakah

Saturday we went to the Fall Fun Fest in Blue Springs. I grew up going to this, so it was fun to go there as a family.

Doesn't Zeke looked thrilled to be there? (:

Sunday we went to church and Malachi went to a birthday party. I actually curled my hair and put on a dress (: And we went shopping while Malachi was at the party, so I got a couple of new things. Shopping for clothes is something that I rarely do, so it was a fun treat!

This weekend was a nice wake up call for me. I don't always feel like fixing myself up, actually I pretty much never feel like it. But sometimes, I suppose doing something you don't feel like doing is good. I'm worn out from a weekend of actually being presentable, but I have to admit, I feel like me again. I fully intend on wearing yoga pants and no makeup tomorrow. But I'm going to make an effort to invest in myself more often.  Whether I "feel" like it or not, I'm going to get out of my "blah" state of mind and live my life to the fullest.